


be careful with that one love

by thebitterbeast



Series: things you said [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M, Wells Jaha Lives, a little bit of octavia/wells friendship in there, bellamy blake angsts a lot, things you said meme, this in general is angst lbr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 10:10:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6234562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebitterbeast/pseuds/thebitterbeast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy knows what he's done is unforgivable. Wells thinks otherwise. (Bellamy knows Wells is wrong.)</p><p>Prompt: things you said that i wish you hadn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	be careful with that one love

**Author's Note:**

> as prompted by [baely](http://bisexualstruggles.tumblr.com/) on tumblr - things you said that i wish you hadn't.

>   _ **he will do what it takes to survive.**_

The longer this _truce_ between Wells and him went on for, the guiltier Bellamy felt about the truth he was hiding. Wells’ good nature was rubbing off on him, and Bellamy would gripe and scowl and say he didn’t like it, but he felt lighter for being the better man.

Looking at Wells now, he could not bring it up. Wells was recovering from the wound Charlotte had given him, but he was still trying to help out where he could. Even knowing that most of the other teenagers on the ground with them would sooner spit on him then assist him in anyway did not stop Wells from offering. Octavia, Bellamy was amused to note, was hissing furiously that anybody who had any problems with Wells would have to go through her.

His smile faded as he was once again reminded of his predicament. He could lose this tentative truce – okay, this **_friendship_** – if he told Wells the truth. But, the other part of him argued, wouldn’t it be worse if Wells found out the truth from someone else?

From who? Bellamy’s eyes flicked upwards as he frowned. He could not see the Ark, but he knew it was there. Would they all die, because of his actions? Would it really be worth the deaths of so many innocents just to keep his secret?

It felt like a noose around his neck, slowly tightening, stealing the air from his lungs, making it harder for him to breathe.

It felt like a weight on his shoulders, getting heavier and heavier with each day, until his knees were buckling under him, and he was sure he would fall, would be buried alive.

Was this how Atlas felt, with the weight of the sky on his shoulders, all because of a decision he had made that turned out to be the wrong one?

He sighed, and ducked his head as he turned away from the sight of his sister saying something to Wells that made him throw his head back and laugh. This new Wells, this brighter and happier Wells, was not burdened by secrets and lies. Was it really in Bellamy to change that? To add more shadows to Wells’ eyes, to take away the smile that he had only just gotten back?

Was it selfish of him to want to keep that there? For himself, yes, but also for Wells.

This would hurt Wells, the way only the bitterest of truths could. This would _break_ Bellamy, the way only he did to himself.

The brunet closed his eyes and dropped to the floor of his tent. He brought his knees up to his chest and dropped his head. One hand tugged at his hair, and he stifled a shout of frustration.

“Bellamy?” Wells’ voice was unexpected, and the older man jerked his head up and stared in confusion. Wells stood in the entryway, framed by the cloth of the tent, worry evident in the way his lips were pressed tightly together, the way his eyebrows furrowed in his forehead. The setting sun cast him partially in shadow, partially haloing him.

He looked like an angel, Bellamy thought abruptly.

The silence between them stretched as Bellamy tried to think of something to say. Something that did not involve how he was realizing that Wells was beautiful, both inside and out. Wells took a step into the tent, letting the cloth drop behind him, blocking out some of the light, and he was utterly human and approachable once again. Bellamy’s heart resumed beating normally in his chest.

Wells knelt before him. “Is everything okay?” His voice was barely a murmur, and Bellamy must have looked an utter wreck for all that concern to be for him. He tried for a smile, and was unsure how well he succeeded.

“Yeah,” he said, but his voice was gravelly and shaky. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Everything’s fine.”

The teenager frowned in response. “Really?” he asked skeptically. His brown eyes were clear and earnest, and it would be so easy to –

Bellamy clenched his fists and closed his eyes and shook his head. “You ever do something that you know is so **wrong** , but in that moment it seems like you have no other choice?” He wanted to stuff the words back down once he had said them, but he let them hang in the air for a second before he continued, “You regret it as soon as you do it, because you know no one will ever forgive you for it. Hell, you can’t forgive yourself for it. But it was a choice you **had** to make, because the other option was -” he cut himself off and pressed his nails harder into the skin of his palm.

He did not see the way Wells reached out to him, but he felt the other’s touch when the teenager carefully pried his fingers loose, and rubbed his thumb over the indents his nails had caused. Bellamy opened his eyes, and stared in astonishment. Wells was not looking at him, instead focused on making sure Bellamy was not bleeding.

“I think,” Wells started carefully, “that if you truly regret it, if people know you truly regret it, nothing is unforgivable.” The teenager met Bellamy’s eyes, and there was conviction shining there. “Whatever it is you did, whoever you think you hurt, they’ll forgive you. I’m sure of it.”

Bellamy did not know if he wanted to laugh or to cry, a huff of breath the only response he could give to Wells. He curled his fingers around Wells’ hands and held on as the other smiled at him. He curled his lips upwards back in response, even as his heart twisted in his chest.

Wells may have thought Bellamy could be forgiven, but Bellamy knew better. Still, he clung to the other’s hands, clung to the fragile hope that had sprung up in his traitorous heart over words that neither of them should ever have spoken.

(Barely two days later, that hope was shattered when Wells could not even look Bellamy in the face after the truth came out. Worse than that was the split second of betrayal and heartbreak on the teenager’s face before he had looked away.)

**Author's Note:**

> come cry with me over wells jaha on [tumblr](http://ankahikoibaat.tumblr.com/).


End file.
